To defer or differ. That is the question.
I didn’t walk Sage today, but instead I lounged on the couch and then by the pool (give me a break–Its Sun….day after all); however, I still managed to be completely disappointed by the selection of guys in the world. Where are the pre-Angelina Jolie Brad Pitts? Or hell, the post-surgery Chaz Bonos? Ugh.
Tanned on my knees and burnt everywhere else, I ran into tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb in the elevator on my ride up. Rule #64: the dumber they are, the better the abs. I already know what you’re thinking- ANOTHER ELEVATOR GUY?? but I promise- no snowflakes” on his lips, and he was a solid 8, pushing 9. He had the brightest blue eyes which seemed to say ” I will buy you flowers once a week.” Only downfall? The dude… stupid—to the point where he was borderline non-functioning. After a few words out of his mouth I was half expecting his friend to have to wipe the drool away, at the very least, help him count to 10.
His opening line was ” What is the difference between ‘differ’ and ‘defer’?” All I could think was, ahh, poor baby, God gave you a hot shell but not enough brain to make it worthwhile. I would have loved to have seen the look on my face— I am sure it went from extreme interest to WTF? My brain, being paralyzed by disappointment, gave the guy enough time to blurt out his next failure:”I mean, when people say ”It makes no difference” are they saying difference or deference?” I explained the deference…ahem, I mean difference, between the words like a second grade teacher would. And while I had hoped that he learned something from my definition tutorial, I am pretty sure all of his attention was directed at figuring out my cup size….ironically a DD, let’s hope he doesn’t try to figure out what THOSE D’S mean.
After all of this, he still had the nerve to invite himself into my apartment. I lied and said I had a lot of work to do,
but told him I would see him later. While at the time I didnt actually plan on following through with this promise, I’m sure after a few beers, I’ll find my way up to his place, offering a dictionary as a ‘welcome to the building’ gift.
If all else fails, I’ll bring duct tape.
Tanned on my knees and burnt everywhere else, I ran into tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb in the elevator on my ride up. Rule #64: the dumber they are, the better the abs. I already know what you’re thinking- ANOTHER ELEVATOR GUY?? but I promise- no snowflakes” on his lips, and he was a solid 8, pushing 9. He had the brightest blue eyes which seemed to say ” I will buy you flowers once a week.” Only downfall? The dude… stupid—to the point where he was borderline non-functioning. After a few words out of his mouth I was half expecting his friend to have to wipe the drool away, at the very least, help him count to 10.
His opening line was ” What is the difference between ‘differ’ and ‘defer’?” All I could think was, ahh, poor baby, God gave you a hot shell but not enough brain to make it worthwhile. I would have loved to have seen the look on my face— I am sure it went from extreme interest to WTF? My brain, being paralyzed by disappointment, gave the guy enough time to blurt out his next failure:”I mean, when people say ”It makes no difference” are they saying difference or deference?” I explained the deference…ahem, I mean difference, between the words like a second grade teacher would. And while I had hoped that he learned something from my definition tutorial, I am pretty sure all of his attention was directed at figuring out my cup size….ironically a DD, let’s hope he doesn’t try to figure out what THOSE D’S mean.
After all of this, he still had the nerve to invite himself into my apartment. I lied and said I had a lot of work to do,
but told him I would see him later. While at the time I didnt actually plan on following through with this promise, I’m sure after a few beers, I’ll find my way up to his place, offering a dictionary as a ‘welcome to the building’ gift.
If all else fails, I’ll bring duct tape.