Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
My sister just had her 10 year high school reunion, which means I'm two years away from mine...which means I'm negative five years from having my first Vegas wedding, one year from a pregnancy scare, and two days from running away with a hot investment banker with a sizable... bank account. In all honesty, what is the point of a high school reunion? If I wanted to 'reconnect' with a pimple-faced population, I would invest in Proactive. If I wanted to see their babies, I would invest in Welfare.
Sage and I met up for happy hour with a graduate school friend on Wednesday; in an effort to obtain amenity, we will call her the "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." A fitting pseudonym based on her 30+ tattoos. Sage savored sips of water (San Pellegrino bitch) while we engulfed glass after glass of Summit Saga in hopes of enticing a beer loving-frat boy while avoiding the alcoholic. Rule #34 A guy who invests in a real, quality beer will eventually invest in real, quality diamonds, # 3 carats. We made it through an order of cheese curds before being entertained by a pre-groom with a broom, aka, a shirtless 26-28 year old sweeping his front porch; while I doubt it takes all 10 abs to push forward a two pound broom, I wasn't about to argue his display of muscleman. Although, sadly after fifteen minutes of sweeping it became obviously that he was aiming for more than just a clean porch--perhaps he thought that if he swept away the leaves, we would sweep away his, ahem, cobwebs? Rule #1 A guy who can't afford a maid can't afford you.
In honor of his desperateness, the Girl and I ordered another round of drinks (plus entrees).
On another note:
I circulated the Apple genius bar today for prospects (and so my sister could replace her iPhone after shattering the screen). There's something to be said about a guy in a tight blue shirt---an Apple hottie but real world not-ie? Am I really eyeing a guy with a receding hairline? Yes. Even more so than the average customer who flirts with him just to get a discount. My married sister spent this 10 minutes shaking her head 'no.' But the power of the Apple Geniuses (or Geni?) was incredibly attractive; perhaps best described as digital downstairs.
Let's be honest, if a guy who has the power to sync my iPad to my TV instantly also has zits, perhaps I will invest in Proactive....or at least in a hefty supply.
Sage and I met up for happy hour with a graduate school friend on Wednesday; in an effort to obtain amenity, we will call her the "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." A fitting pseudonym based on her 30+ tattoos. Sage savored sips of water (San Pellegrino bitch) while we engulfed glass after glass of Summit Saga in hopes of enticing a beer loving-frat boy while avoiding the alcoholic. Rule #34 A guy who invests in a real, quality beer will eventually invest in real, quality diamonds, # 3 carats. We made it through an order of cheese curds before being entertained by a pre-groom with a broom, aka, a shirtless 26-28 year old sweeping his front porch; while I doubt it takes all 10 abs to push forward a two pound broom, I wasn't about to argue his display of muscleman. Although, sadly after fifteen minutes of sweeping it became obviously that he was aiming for more than just a clean porch--perhaps he thought that if he swept away the leaves, we would sweep away his, ahem, cobwebs? Rule #1 A guy who can't afford a maid can't afford you.
In honor of his desperateness, the Girl and I ordered another round of drinks (plus entrees).
On another note:
I circulated the Apple genius bar today for prospects (and so my sister could replace her iPhone after shattering the screen). There's something to be said about a guy in a tight blue shirt---an Apple hottie but real world not-ie? Am I really eyeing a guy with a receding hairline? Yes. Even more so than the average customer who flirts with him just to get a discount. My married sister spent this 10 minutes shaking her head 'no.' But the power of the Apple Geniuses (or Geni?) was incredibly attractive; perhaps best described as digital downstairs.
Let's be honest, if a guy who has the power to sync my iPad to my TV instantly also has zits, perhaps I will invest in Proactive....or at least in a hefty supply.